So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
