she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
where are my eyebrows?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
