so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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