I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
