Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
