I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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