I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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