I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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