i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my sisters under your porch take her home
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Randomize
