So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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