Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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