"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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