You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
