before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize