Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
