i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
