She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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