It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
