At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
