i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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