were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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