i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
