Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
