I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
