i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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