I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
