i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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