I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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