Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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