I wanna bring you to show and tell
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
