Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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