Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
