she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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