im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
