My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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