You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
