Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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