you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize