But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
