Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This is the high leading the old right now
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
