My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's shark week go big or go home
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
