I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
