Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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