just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize