I wish I could teleport
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
