how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize