why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
