Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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