I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
