speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just blew my weed a kiss
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
