Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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