I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
