Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
