Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
now i know why i became what i already was.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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