i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
