the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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