see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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