I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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