Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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