Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
