I bet he comes in French.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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