yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
