Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
