Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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