I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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