the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
