I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
