So drunk, too bad you don't want this
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
