You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Drunk is not a location!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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