it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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