You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize