Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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