Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
