the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
