singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
