wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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