My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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